How My Wife’s Burnout Brought us Closer Together

Even if she doesn’t ask for help, I’ll always be there for her

Sajjad Choudhury

--

A silhouette photo of my wife and I embracing — Image by Author

My wife and I have a very entertaining relationship. We pull each other’s legs, make jokes and sass each other all the time. But we also know when to be there for each other.

Whether it’s planning a holiday, working on our business or cooking a meal together, we always work better as a team. But unlike me, my wife is the sort of person who doesn’t know when to slow down. Once she’s fixated on a particular goal, she’ll go all in, even if it’s at the expense of her well-being.

Having drive and ambition is a blessing, but it can also come at a cost. When my wife overworks herself to the max, and I cannot reign her in, she experiences burnout. And believe me, it’s not easy to escape burnout.

It makes me question how others go through it when they don’t have a partner or someone to watch over them.

They must go home alone, force themselves to do chores and keep gritting their teeth whenever someone asks if they're doing okay. No one is there for them, no one is there to make life a little easier, to make them a hot drink or give them a treat.

Yet, why is it that even in relationships, you often hear stories of one partner who isn’t there for the other, especially when they’re at their most vulnerable? They’re not ensuring their partner’s well-being, not checking up on them or even bothering to care for them.

After getting married, I told my wife she’d never have to go through that sort of experience. She’d never feel alone because she had me, and I’d always be there for her.

Seeing a Strong Person Change

When my grandmother reached a particular age, something in her changed. At that point, she needed carers and wasn’t very mobile, but it was as though her personality had become more… childlike?

I’ve noticed this trait in others, not only when they reach elderly age. Many people who become sick or need to depend on someone even if it’s just temporarily seem to revert to a childlike state.

Maybe it’s an innate feeling. When we’re unwell, we need someone to take care of us…

--

--

Sajjad Choudhury

Product Operations Lead @ Onfido | I create relationship wellbeing content, digital products and run an IG page. Check it out - https://linktr.ee/saish_coaching